Random : Past Relationship

Hi

Its 12.11am and yet I'm still here wide awake and listening to my favourite pianist and thinking on what should I share in my blog? Should I share with you about my relationships? Is it okay for me to share? Well, just allow me to do so. Anyway, I have been fighting with my own self whether or not I share with you but yeah, I wanted to do it, since this has been stayed in my blog draft for sometimes. Please note that, this blog post might be way too long! 

Well, lets begin! I have been in two relationships. One is during after I  just done with SPM. That's my first relationship. Hahaha I just never wanted to be in any relationship during my school years, not because I'm afraid that it may affect my studies but the fact that, I feel like 'eeii..gelinya nak bercinta masa sekolah' kind of. hahaha sorry but that's me even I feel it again now. Oh gosh! Just giving me some time to pull out this kind of feeling. 

What should I call on my first relationship? Cinta monyet? First love? I don't know the heck should I call it, even so, of course it doesn't turn out the way I have been dreaming since I was teenagers. By saying dreaming, I meant first relationship that would last forever just like my parents. First love first relationship. I wanted that too but nope, it was meant to be together but somehow I'm thankful for that since his cheated on me! Only in just like 6 months of relationship? Gosh, I felt miserable in that time! Despite those things, he is now my bestfriends. Yep, because eventually his friends are my best friends, hence, we're friends again. Hahaha Life is mystery, isn't it? I told myself that I won't be friends with my ex but I guess rather being a lover, being a close friends does fit us. We now even make fun and laugh about our relationship hahaha

After my first relationship experience, it takes like a year to recover to start another relationship. A guy whom I knew him from my bestfriends. Yes the same bestfriends. I don't even understand why it must revolve my close friends! Haha Again without me realize the relationship just started in a blink of an eye. Well, it lasted for almost 4 years and half, I think so? I just broke up last year, honestly.  A relationship without communication, is like a year without rain (selena gomez's song ;D). Frankly for me, distance is not a problem but communication does. For the first two years of course everything seems to be run smoothly being lovey dovey whatever but it all started in second half of the second year of our relationship. I'm not going into details about that but yes, its all begin with communication problem. Frankly speaking, last year I started to lost my feeling for him, I've tried my best to find that feelings again but I couldn't find it, eventually I gave up. So, yeah. There goes my longest relationship.

I don't know how long it would take for me to be in a relationship again. Because, somehow I feel I need to find myself, to love myself, to focus on my self and family. As I mention, that "geli punya perasaan datang balik". Oh goodness, I think I'm strange! Hahaha

There you go, I finally have the courage to blog about this! Kah! No! I just wanted to share with you, Communication is a fundamental in a relationship and never ever give up in your relationship like I did. Of course, family's blessing is very important too. Okay, I should stop writing now. Good night. 

Love,
FatinaMdzfr